byronius, 2010/01/06 

sometimes i say something
and everybody shuts up
and just looks at me
or i post something
and no one
or like when i tell the sort-of truth
and pay the awful price
for that terrible semi-lie
gosh i’m such a shrute
i swear i was raised this way
by the belt and the glare
and the slamming door
and some other stuff
thank you mr. robert silverberg!@#%#$%^
let’s go back to when i was three.
in my dr. denton’s, i got to stay up
and watch the wizard of oz
and the monkeys, the flying monkeys
made me cry and to this day
i fear the flying monkeys
forward to ten
and maria dubbeld sends me love notes
and shows me her underwear in the girl’s bathroom
and to this day i faint when i meet dutch women
forward to fifteen
lieutenant uhura gets the soft focus
never mind
(space! the final frontier!)
forward to twenty-one
and this demon scot named aldous
makes me listen to ELP at a party
on headphones
get the idea?
in all the universe, there is only one byronius
except now, according to E’s dad
there might be an infinite number
and i was thinking that if we all got together
busby berkeley could direct us in excellent vast marching shapes
and somehow, somehow
that would fix me.


  1. byronius wrote,

    Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP

    Comment on 2010/01/06 @ 11:44 pm

  2. byronius wrote,

    There’s to be an Oortin’ on the morrow night, ‘n likely I’ll be off to Next Life, whilst everyone else gets Sparklied.

    Am I — am I — could I — still be on the Brownie? ‘Time’s going by so sloooooowwwwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy’…

    Just a theory.

    Comment on 2010/01/06 @ 11:52 pm

  3. SkyHarbor wrote,

    Just goes to show ya that there’s more to good mota than an eydropper full of THC! It’s the aroma… the tactile pleasure of rollin’ it up… and the SHARING! Nobody passes around a martini at a cocktail party, DO THEY?
    It’s a communal thing… and I like that!
    Share the germs, share the love… and let’s all cough together and say WOW… great shit man!! Nope, an eyedropper just can’t do that!

    BTW: wish I could be there for the music therapy session!

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 4:07 am

  4. SkyHarbor wrote,

    Well familiar was I
    To the belt, the door
    And the glaring eye…

    Those flying monkeys
    Freaked me too

    Well, I least I learned how NOT to be a parent!

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 6:33 am

  5. byronius wrote,

    Teleport! Teleport! And bring your Dano!

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 8:15 am

  6. Max wrote,

    I wonder if
    the multiplicity
    of busby byronii
    led inexorably
    to tom servo * 10
    in perfect harmony?

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 11:21 am

  7. byronius wrote,

    That’s crazy talk.

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 11:30 am

  8. Max wrote,

    BTW- regarding the belt, the glare, the door, etc. I was going to bemoan the lack of attention my Dad paid to the fourth of his five children (you’re lucky he noticed you enough to get the belt! and so on…). Then I thought better of it, as I shouldn’t be making light of childhood traumas. OTOH, next thought was why not let Monty Python do it for me?

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 11:36 am

  9. byronius wrote,

    Such a fine sequence.

    And now, a little eye candy:

    Oh Boy!

    Blame Star Trek ™ !!!

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 12:31 pm

  10. SkyHarbor wrote,

    Funny bit! (I’d seen this before)…

    I wasn’t plumping for sympathy, and I doubt that byronius was either, but I did resonate with his painful memory… The sick thing is that it was not generally considered aberrant behaviour in those days for men to beat their kids and/or wives… and divorce was still considered ‘immoral’ in most circles. But it WAS and IS cowardly and unnecessarily brutal behaviour, and I recognised it for exactly that, and I never hit my wife or my son. NEVER. So at least I learned something from it.

    Sometimes, the ‘good old days’ weren’t really all that great, were they?

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 12:48 pm

  11. byronius wrote,

    Plenty of kids got it much worse than I did.

    I think it was the seventies when that stuff started fading out of vogue.

    Thank you, Hippies!!

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 12:59 pm

  12. Max wrote,

    We got spanked, but rarely and only on road trips. We’d be in the back seat of the old Rambler wagon making a commotion and, having ignored several repeat warnings, the car would start ominously slowing down and pulling over. The punishment would always be wordless. At least I got the impression he didn’t enjoy it.

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 1:15 pm

  13. SkyHarbor wrote,

    Max: agreed, and I have nothing against the judicious use of an open handed spanking. It IS called for sometimes, and ‘time outs’ are NOT always the best way to discipline children (IMHO)…

    But parents need to discipline THEMSELVES as well! If corporal punishment is applied in the midst of RAGE, then it is ALWAYS wrong. It seems to me that it is the PARENTS who should take the ‘time out’ when they lose their tempers… Children learn best by EXAMPLE, and are razor sharp at detecting hypocrisy. Nobody’s perfect of course, and we all are prone to ‘lose it’ from time to time, but it is CRITICAL for parents to always keep in mind just who are the ‘grown ups’ here!

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 2:12 pm

  14. Max wrote,

    I came close to losing it sometimes back in the terrible twos (which actually lasted on and off to five or so). I developed a pretty good technique that never involved physical abuse- except my own. I would take him to his room and sit with him with my back to the door and try to reason with him, usually completely to no avail. It wasn’t the discussion that was valuable, but the time out for both of us; willed by me, resisted heartily by him. He would try valiantly to crawl over me to open the door to get back to what he was doing but I wouldn’t budge until he had settled down. Eventually he would and eventually the exercise became unnecessary. I don’t know if I really taught him anything but I considered it a great success to avoid inflicting punishment through violence.

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 2:23 pm

  15. byronius wrote,

    Neither of my kidberts ever got the hand; they did, however, learn to fear the terrible ‘long talk’, which would last far too long for their comfort.

    And I must say, they are extremely well-behaved kidberts, and carry no muscle-memory of abuse (like I do).

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 2:30 pm

  16. SkyHarbor wrote,

    Good for you! And I bow to your greater knowledge in this area.

    I should be careful to not overstate my ‘hands on’ ;-} experience in these matters, as I was divorced early on and had only very limited opportunity to implement many child-rearing ‘skills’. But I always knew clearly what I would NOT do!

    All kids are different. Some just naturally ‘behave’ better than others. I guess all that’s really important is that kids always know that they are loved, even when you’re mad at them…

    Comment on 2010/01/07 @ 2:37 pm

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