Now they’re just messing with me

Harvard Study: Smoking Weed Improves Brain Functions

“After three months of medical marijuana treatment, patients actually performed better, in terms of their ability to perform certain cognitive tasks, specifically those mediated by the frontal cortex,” explained Gruber.

Study participants also reported improvements in their specific clinical conditions, sleep, and overall health as well as a decreased use of conventional medications, particularly opiates.

“We saw a 42 percent reduction in opioid use,” reported Gruber. “This is significant, particularly for those of us in Massachusetts and other areas of the country where the opioid epidemic is ravaging so many. This preliminary finding certainly warrants deeper and broader investigation.”

Satan’s games. Besides, who really wants to be smart anyway? It’d just make you into one of those latte-sipping west coast elitists who fails to understand the simple genius of our great leader.